Fred's Ultimate Plan to Get GENE...with sugar?
by Anime Chick
Summary: When Fred gets a stupid idea, what's he to do when Gene rampages the town thinking he's a PowerPuff Girl?


"Fred's Ultimate Plan to Get GEEEENE

Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to, I don't own Outlaw Star, so please don't sue me!

Okay, now this is the strangest thing I've ever written! Please don't ask where I got the idea, I don't even know myself! Heh, enjoy the story! Excuse my typing errors if you find some, you should never trust me on a keyboard! I'm a horrid typist, but I'm pretty sure I've checked everything over!

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"Do do do do do dooooooooo doooo! Da da da da da daaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaaaa!" Fred yelled at the top of his lungs as he sped his cart through the grocery store pretending he was a powerpuff girl, "DO DO DO DO DO DOOOOOOOOOO! HAHA! I'M BUBBLES! I'M FLYYYING! FLYYYYYIIIIIINGGGGG!! POWWWERPUFFSSSSS SAAAVE THE DAAAAAY!"

***********************************************

Jim sighed, "Gene, why is it that we're ALWAYS in debt with Fred? You'd think by now we'd of paid off everything we owe him!" he said as he typed some more on his laptop.

"Don't ask me why. The guy's a psychopath...he keeps sending us those annoying letters that start laughing like him when you open them," Gene said, putting his head back on the couch he was sitting on and looked at the ceiling.

"You mean the ones that explode into his laughter if you don't open them right away or touch them?" Jim said, grinning, "He sends us about twenty every day now for the past week, Gene. It's starting to get on my nerves. Remember when we got them for the first time and they all exploded at the same time?"

"Don't remind me," Gene said, closing his eyes. He wanted to cover his ears now, just remembering the sounds of psycho laughter that twenty Freds made...

"You have to go see him, tonight Gene," Jim said sternly.

"There's no way you're going to make me converse with that idiot again," Gene said stubbornly.

"Oh yes, you are going to go," Jim said, smiling wickedly.

"There's no way you can make me," Gene said, grinning like an idiot.

"Maybe I can't make you go...but Fred can!"

"...huh? What are you playing at, Jim?" Gene said, raising an eyebrow. This didn't sound too good.

"Hold on, right here," Jim said, still smiling wickedly.

Jim got up and ran off.

"Hmm..." Gene thought, "What could he be doing?"

Jim ran back a minute later carrying a basket. He dumped its contents onto the table.

Gene's eyes went wide. There sat at least two dozen letters, all addressed to "My Love"

"Gene, what would happen if I touched this letter?" Jim said, smiling even more wickedly, feeling powerful. He put his finger just inches from the surface of the letters.

"Jim...no! No! NO JIM, NO! DON'T! STOOOPPPPP!"

"AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA GENE! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!"the house shook as over twenty Fred voices yelled out every combination of "Haha Gene, Haha!" that was possible.

"MAKE IT STOP! I'LL GO! I'LL GO! JUST MAKE IT STOOOOPPP!" Gene shouted over the Freds as he covered his ears and dove underneath the table.

Jim only laughed along with Fred.

"HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA GENE! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

***********************************************

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Fred was flying down the isles of the Giant Eagle now, knocking over random people. He finally lost control and ran into a cardboard display holding Goldfish and was sent flying into the air, "I'M FLYIIIING! I'M BUBBLES! YESSSS MAYOR!! POWERPUFFS TO THE RESCUUUUUUEEE---OOMMMPHHH!" Fred landed in a thingy full of oranges, "AND TOWNSVILLE IS SAAAAAAVED!"

Bob, his bodyguard came running up, "Uh, Mr. Lou?"

"AHEM!" Fred said, gleefully.

Bob sighed ecstatically, "I mean, your spiffy cool highness, Princess Fred,"

"That's much better!" Fred said, giddy at the thought, "and who is my priiiiiince?"

Bob sighed again, "The Lord of all things spiffy and cool, Gene Starwind," he said flatly.

"OOOH!" Fred said, "So beautiful!"

"Yeah, anyways your *cough* highness, I suggest you get the ingredients for tonight's *cough* spiffy meal as you are expecting Mr. Star-I mean you are expecting your *cough* prince to arrive and complain to you in only a few short hours," Bob said, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else but here at the moment.

"Golly jeepers! I almost forgot! Thanks Bob! POWERPUFFS TO THE RESCUUUUUUE! I WILL AVEEEENGE YOU MOJO JOJOOOOO!" Fred said gleefully as he hopped behind his cart again and sped off.

"Moron," Bob said, shaking his head.

***********************************************

"HAHAHA GENE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"

The last laughter of the Freds died out as Gene had been screaming songs while covering his head with a pillow off the couch and hiding under the table.

"Well then, Gene. Better rest up before you go and have your little chat with Fred!" Jim said, walking away with his laptop looking quite amused.

Gene groaned, "...Damn...damn you..." 

***********************************************

"Now let's seeeeeee! Golly! Sugar!" Fred's eyes went wide as he saw the bags of sugar, "Ooh sugar and sprinkles! On the powerpuff girl's opening they show that professor person pouring all kinds of sprinkles into that...vat thing...ooooh! SUPER DE DUPER!" Fred began to get ideas...

Beeeeep beeeeep beeeeeep! Fred looked down at his watch (which featured him and Gene in the center surrounded by pink and purple hearts) "It's time to get back home! HAHAHA!With my sugar, spice, and EVERYTHING spiffy and nice...Gene will soon know what real little girls are made of! HAHAHA! SUPER! SUPER DE DUPER SPIFFY NIFTY COOL!" Fred said over enthusiastically.

Fred wheeled his cart do the checkout line ("DO DO DO DO DO DOOOOOO DOOOOO!") and bought the ingredients to his 'dinner'. In the car on the way home he led Bob through rounds of "Blossom! Commander and the leeeeeaaaader! Bubbles! ("that's me!") She is the joooooy and the laaaaughter!!" 

***********************************************

Gene cut off the engine to the car. He sighed. This was getting to be annoying. It seemed like every week now that he had to go and yell at Fred for something or another. "Might as well get this over with..." he though, "The sooner I get out of his office, the better,"

***********************************************

"Princess Fred?" Bob said to Fred while peering out the office window.

Fred was busy reading a Playgirl magazine, "Hmm? Oh! Oh now THIS guy's a hoooooottie!"

"Princess Fred...?" Bob winced again as Fred looking adorably at the magazine.

"Oh...Oh! Yes Bob?" Fred said, blushing in embarrassment, hiding his magazine.

"I know you have the magazine, Princess,"

"Oh, oh fine you caught me!" Fred said, making a prissy teenage-girl-in-love face. (Don't aaaask)

Bob rolled his eyes, "Fred, I mean er, Princess I believe Ge-I mean Prince Starwind has arrived.

"Ah yes! And dinner is ready!" Fred said excitedly.

The door burst open, "Fred, why the hell are you-" Gene said flatly, until his face turned to looking shocked and stopped his sentence, frozen in place. A table sat in the middle covered in frilly pink table clothes and lace, and an unusual looking bowl full of all kinds of crap.

"Why Gene! I was expecting you! To hell with you, Bob, get out of my sight," Fred said, throwing his arms around Gene. Gene recoiled in disgust.

Bob left graciously, quietly, and calmly. As soon as he got out of the office and shut the door his gruff manor changed, "Waaaaaahhhhhhooooooo! I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND! YAAAAAAAAH!!" he screamed, jumping up and down and finally launching himself out the two story window and landing on his feet, where he continued screaming about the zoo, buttered toast and Disneyland while running into open traffic. (Hey, you'd be driven insane if you were Fred's bodyguard too!)

***********************************************

"Fred, what the hell is-" Gene said as he started drinking some liquid Fred started forcing down his throat at the table, "Affmfff!" Gene coughed and choked a minute until he could recollect himself, "What the hell are you doing? I didn't come here to...hey, wait a minute! That stuff's pretty good!" Gene said, letting the taste of the sour yet sickeningly sweet substance sink in, "What is that?"

"Oh nothing!" Fred said, blinking femininely. He thought to himself as Gene stupidly downed the whole glass, Just Mountain Dew, Gatorade, Tang, a Margarita, coke a cola, cinnamon raison bread, milk, a stuffed bear, tic tacs, a pony, m & m's, oh...and LOTSA SUGAR!

"Want another?" Fred said, deviously pouring Gene another glass of what he called 'Chemical X'.

Gene nodded, "But what the hell is THAT?" he asked, pointing to the bowl of sugar and sprinkles.

"Why, the main coarse!" Fred said, dumping a pile of sugar onto Gene's plate.

"Um..."

"Try it! It tastes good with your drink!" Fred said. Haha! Once Gene takes a bite he will have all three ingredients...sugar...spice...and everything nice! Hahaha!

Gene took a spoonful of whatever it was, and reluctantly put it into his mouth. If it pays the debts...I'd better do it. He thought. Once the sugar had entered his mouth, an uncontrollable urge came over Gene to eat the entire bowl of sugar. He couldn't stop himself, and he stood up and started shoveling sugar into his mouth, stopping occasionally after each rapid intake to drink another glass of 'Chemical X'.

Perfect! PEEEEERFECT!" Fred thought, getting excited.

"Aaaammmmmfffmfmfffffmfmfff!" Gene lifted the bowl to his face to get more sugar.

"STOP! That's enough now, Gene," Fred said, smiling.

Gene looked up, and his eyes went wide as they met with Fred's.

"Geeeeeene?"

Gene slowly brought a handful of sugar to his mouth while he started unblinking at Fred.

"Geeeeeeene? Is something wrong?" Fred said.

"GIVE IT UP MOJO!"Gene screamed as he pounced onto Fred.

"AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH GGGGGEEEEENNNNEEEEE SSSSTTTTTTOOOOOPPPPPIIIIIIT!!!" Fred screeched.

"HAHAHA!" Gene screamed, running back to the sugar bowl, "aaaaffffffmfmffffmmffmm...mmmmmmmmm!" his said while downing the rest of the bowl.

Riiiiing. Riiiiiiiing.

"The phone!" Fred said, "Must be calling back about my subscription to 17 magazine!"

"THE HOTLINE!!!!" Gene screamed, knocking over the whole table while 'flying' to the phone, "YES MAYOR?" He bellowed into the receiver, and not giving the person a chance to respond, he yelled, "WE'RE ON IT!" he yelled as he slammed the phone down onto the receiver so hard that the phone broke in half, "DAMMIT LET'S GOOOOO!" he screamed.

***********************************************

"Next in line please! Thank you very much for coming to Starkey Bank! Keep the line moving now!" the bank lady at the cashier (what do you call them anyway?) said politely.

"GIVE IT UP GANG GREEN GAAAAANG!" Gene screamed as he burst in the doors, Fred following close behind.

Fred began, "Um...Gene this sure is golly super, but there isn't-"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!" Gene yelled, making everyone in the bank back away.

"Sir, please kindly-" the cashier lady said.

"Hold it RIGHT THERE MOJO JOJO!" Gene yelled, pointing at the lady.

"Are you referring to me sir? My name isn't-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" Gene screamed as he jumped onto the cash register, smashing it to pieces. He saw the money fall out, and quickly stuffed some into his mouth, only to cough it out of his mouth quite violently, "YYYUUCCK!"

"HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!" the lady screamed for dear life as Gene jumped onto her as well.

"YOU'RE COMING WITH MEEEEEEE MOJO! YOU BAD MONKKKKKKEEEEY!"Gene yelled as he dragged the lady across the floor before picking her up and carrying her under on of his arms.

"AAAAHHHHH! LLEEEEMMMEEEEE GOOOO!" the lady screamed, kicking and yelling, trying to get away.

"Gene, stoppit!" Fred yelled, but it did no good. What have I done? It seemed like a golly gee super plan...but...

"AAAAAAAAAND TOWNSVILLE IS SAAAAAAVED!" Gene said, dropping the lady onto the groundand running out the door.

"GENE!!!" Fred yelled out as he followed Gene out the door.

The frightened people crowded around the cashier lady as she lay badly beaten up and crying on the ground, her clothes ripped from Gene's psychotic attack.

***********************************************

"What do you think is keeping Gene?" Jim asked, looking at the table, "He said he'd be back before lunch,"

"Maybe Fred got an evil plan to feed him sugar so then when Gene came to his office he ate a little than ate every sugary item within a five mile radius of the office and now he's rampaging about the city thinking he's a powerpuff girl," Suzuka said calmly, sipping her tea.

Jim, Aisha, and Melfina could only blink.

"Um..." Jim said, "Is that true?"

"No, I just felt like saying that," Suzuka said calmly, again sipping her tea.

************************************************

"Look mommy! I wanna sugar bunny!" a little girl said inside a candy shop, pointing to a bunny made of sugar behind the glass counter.

"Did somebody say...SUGAR?!" Gene yelled as he suddenly popped out from behind the counter before smashing the glass and devouring all the candy as the little girl and her mother ran screaming from the shop.

"Gene! QUIT IT RIGHT NOW!" Fred yelled,

"Nonsense Bubbles! WE'RE ON A MISSION!"

************************************************

Jim sighed. He was sitting on the couch with Melfina while Aisha played was playing on her game boy.

"Oh Jim, don't worry about Gene. He can take care of himself," Melfina said, looking at Jim with concern.

"I guess you're right,"

************************************************

"I'm sooooo beautiful!" Gene said. He had somehow attacked the people at a beauty shop and threatened them by telling them that he'd kill them with his laser eyes if they didn't give him a makeover.

He looked in the mirror at his red dress with the black stripe around the middle and his Mary Jane shoes. He had gotten hair extension and a red bow for his hair. He had forced them to paint red and white circles around his eyes to make him look more like Blossom.

Fred stared. Never in his life had he seen Gene as a girl, "Oh my god!" He thought, "What the hell have I done?! Gene acting so...feminine..." that's when realized this had gone too far, and knew what he had to do. Immobilize Gene until the effects of the sugar wore off.

************************************************

Jim flipped the channels on the TV. He stopped at the news channel, since there wasn't much on and because lil' Jimmie liked to keep himself updated on the current events.

A lady that looked very shaken and beaten up was shown on the screen, "I...I was just...just helping people...at the...the Starkey bank...when...when he attacked me! HE SAID I WAS A BAD MONKEY!" she said, sobbing.

The picture flashed to the news reporter, "I am standing outside of the Baumer Candy Store where this red headed monstrosity continued his rampage by eating everything inside,"

"Red head? MONSTROCITY?!" Jim said alarmed, coming to a realization, "Everyone! It's GENE!"

Everyone turned their attention to the TV with wide eyes. It showed a crying little girl and her mother.

The screen flashed back to the reporter, "The ramping psycho was last seen at a beauty shop where he got a full makeover to look like the character Blossom from the PowerPuff Girls, a children's cartoon."

Everyone turned to look at Suzuka with even wider eyes.

"What?" she said.

************************************************

"Stop the limo here, Bobby Joe," Fred said to Bobby Joe. The limo promptly stopped in front of the Starwind and Hawking Enterprises building. Fred opened his door, "Now, Bobby Joe carry him inside," he said, smiling.

Bobby Joe nodded gruffly as he picked up an unconscious Gene, whose hands and feet werebound together. Fred knocked on the door, no one answered. He tried turning the lock and the door opened. He paused for a moment, smiling at Gene's carelessness, and walked inside, Bobby Joe following.

"Fred!" Aisha said when Fred walked in, "Did you hear about Gene? He went crazy and-WHAT THE HELL?!" said, her eyes welling up with tears until she couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing.

Jim blinked. A low laugh grew from his throat until he was laughing our loud full blast. Suzuka was in mid-sip of her tea and she nearly spit it out when she saw. Even Melfina's eyes went wide and she brought her hand to her mouth as she giggled hysterically.

"Oh...oh...oh my god!" Jim said between laughs. Bobby Joe had set Gene down on the couch. Jim reached out to his laptop where a digital camera sat and raised it shakily up to his eye, trying to keep it still through all his laughter and clicked the shutter, "This one's...going...in the...album!" He said, still laughing hysterically.

Fred smiled, "Well, I leave him to you now. I don't suggest you untie him until you're sure he's back to normal. Hide all your sugar, and call me once he's back to normal. I'm very sorry for what has happened..."

"S'ok!...haha!" Aisha laughed, "It was...worth it...for...for this!"

"Alright! Great then!" Fred said, "I'll talk to you all later! Come Bobby Joe, to the limo!"He and Bobby Joe proceeded to go out the door.

Everyone laughed for a few minutes more until they finally died down and breathed heavily until they were all silent, which of course they all cracked up again just looking at 'Blossom'.

"Hey, you guys?" Jim said, when he had a change to recollect himself, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Yeah, Jim?" Aisha said, he face still red from laughing so hard.

"Have you guys noticed Gene has been slacking off more than usual? Not to mention he's given Starwind and Hawking a bad name...I think we should take a little revenge..." Jim said, grinning.

"How?" Suzuka said, getting interested.

Jim dragged a chair from Gene's desk and placed it by the couch, "Melfina, could you bring that full length standup mirror you have in your room out here?" 

"Sure," Melfina said, smiling and promptly walking to her room, dragging her mirror into the room.

"Suzuka? Aisha could you help me get Gene onto this chair? And careful, don't wake him up yet!" Jim said. Suzuka and Aisha looked at one another grinning. They were beginning to catch on.

Once Gene was in a sitting position on the chair, Jim took some spare rope and bound him to that as well. 

"Put the mirror right there, Mel!" Jim said, pointing to the space right in front of Gene. Suzuka helped Melfina place the mirror just right.

Jim grabbed his camera, "Stand by everyone!"

"GENE!" They all chorused, "GEEEEEENE!" 

Gene groaned, "Fred...what...why sugar...no..."

Everyone snickered.

Gene groaned again he slowly opened his eyes, which seemed to be hazed over and blurry. He tried to rub them, but found his arms immobile.

Everyone kept silent in anticipation...

Gene shook his head groggily, and his vision began to focus...clearer...and clearer...two mirrors, no...no one mirror...there's something in it...what is it? What is that thing? Oh...almost clear...focus...focus...blink...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Snap!


End file.
